Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
