I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
