oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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