Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Farmville is her only friend.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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