Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
