Define "chronic" masturbator.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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