I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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