I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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