Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
