i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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