i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
