why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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