We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
