This girl is more easily done than said...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
