Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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