i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It was confusing and full of hummus
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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