That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
