He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
