We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There r osticjed everywhere
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
