There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
