Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
