please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
