There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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