What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
