you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
