I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
