it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
