some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
