ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
