all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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