Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
