so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
