New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
