Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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