i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
