Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
