If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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