he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
