dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
