WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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