Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
