we made out on top of his cat.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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