no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I want her autograph on my taint
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
