At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This baby is an asshole
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
