i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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