The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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