I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
