bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
