Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
why is half of my head shaved?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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