She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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