dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
