I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
