The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
