He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
